The World’s Worst Husband Training Program
A satire-powered curriculum guaranteed to drain smiles… until you hit the big button that says Please Don’t.
Satire ahead
THE CURRICULUM
Advanced Sighing Techniques
Master the 4.5-second exhale that says “I’m not mad, just monumentally disappointed.”
Do not actually do this
Weaponized Advice 101
Offer help only after the task is done, preferably with a chart of what she should have done.
Do not actually do this
Selective Hearing Pro
Hear the word “pizza” from three rooms away, miss “could you change the laundry?” from three feet.
Do not actually do this
Pricing
Starter (Red Flag)
Includes one complimentary eye roll.
$0
- Passive-Aggressive 101 (un-recommended)
- Household chore-voiding
- Lifetime supply of cold shoulders
Pro (Please Don’t)
Comes with a shared calendar you never open.
$49
- Advanced blame-shifting drills
- Expert-level minimal listening
- 24/7 text-notification ignoring
JoyGivers Upgrade
Limited-time sanity special.
$0
- Repair moves that actually work
- Weekly date micro-plans
- Apology-and-repair scripts